By Debarun Sarkar
What not to do when meeting Donald Trump?
Narendra–the adarsh balak – leaned forward with an eager hand
‘his Barrack’ has been replaced by ‘the Donald’. Donald Duck.
“Do not shake his polluted hand,” advisors told him. “This low-caste
white man does not believe in climate change and hence could
possibly be toxic. Deadly. The leader of the ‘Great Nation’ could
die with his small hands before Bharat Mata could come and help.
“Do not wear your name on your coat, sir, he embosses buildings
with his name. We cannot let the world think our Great Leader
can only afford a coat and not a building.
“When he speaks against Muslims, you may nod your head but
do not, I repeat do not agree to his terms. He would block entry
of Muslims in his country. Which could mean that chances of Muslims
in our countries and those lousy Bangladeshis might never be able
to leave and go to the US in the hope of making money.
“Also do not buy into his deal for the wall. If he could, he would
block all air and water, sir, and not allow us to ever step into his country.
Research suggests that he might build walls in air and water
to keep all clean air and water to woo the Greens in case Climate Change
does turn out to be true in a decade or two. That’s why they are planning
to build huge settlements on the Rocky Mountains. He obviously does not
want to say that he believes in Climate Change.
“If he doesn’t agree to the Paris Agreement, what’s the point of his
Friendship, sir? Bangladeshis will flood our country soon when they
drown. Also, remember he is against TPP, which the Marxists
are also against. That is just weird. All the leftists have already decided
to meet him for this reason.”
“You’re giving me too many policy advices. I’m to meet him in ten
minutes. The Leader of the Free World. Tell me if my beard is shaped
in a masculine manner? Not in the leftist way obviously. Also, how much
of my sleeves, should I fold? One twist or two? If his wife tries touch my cheeks
with hers how do I politely decline? It will displease Mohan Bhagwat a lot.
These TV people, how did they become Leaders! In our country
at least you need to be a massive film-star. America has indeed declined
since the ‘80s. Don’t tell Smriti I said that.”
“There he is.
“Do not shake his hand. Do a namaste. He could be toxic.”
How to write under a regime of state censorship?
Do not break the code of conduct
to get shot on the first day.
Write for the masses. Soapy stories.
Love stories. Gangster. Crime.
Caper. Heist. War.
portraying the Evil which by sleight of hand
is not the state but the economy.
It’s easy once you start practicing
to not offend the oppressive state.
(Fascist is too particular a word and using
it devalues the whole weight of it.)
Write or film stories depicting
Occupy Wall Street
the financial crisis
a cathartic effect on the audience
(or so the censor board would think).
Build a silo full of databases
stacking archives instead of guns.
Write about the everyday struggles –
unemployment, hunger, thirst, sex –
those are the words the historians shall
seek when the fetish of recovering
official records gets over.
If you want change right now,
then maybe you need to rethink
your faith in liberal democracy
and not write so much. Writing
manifestos without practicing
is like content writing on crappy
websites on the Internet.
Your censorship rebellion will
make you no more hip than
the Iranian and Chinese artists,
so think twice if that’s what you
are in it for.
World Leaders in the 21st Century
Believe me when I say, the whole world
revolves around the moon–the tidal flux
is of much greater importance to the
equilibrium of the world than the stars
in distant constellations. New science –
lunilogy has been invented in a private
research facility in the Antarctica
funded by a the largest conglomerate
in the world.
Bite into the meat with care. It must be cooked
slowly and eaten with care. Meat doesn’t belong
to the poor. It is a food only some can afford.
Your father will be angry if you do not learn to
eat meat by the time you are twelve. The ritual
of your maturation needs meat. We cannot
source cow meat because the government has
banned it so we must do with birds.
But remember to bite into it properly. If you don’t,
father will be very angry. I don’t know what he
might do. If you don’t feel like eating it, gulp it
down. If you waste it, you cannot be a leader.
I have learnt to be a slow, silent spectator
during these days of bereavement. Our great
nation has slowly descended into anarchy.
I cannot, I cannot fathom what goes on with
the peasants and the workers. The harvest
was terrible. The patented seeds we ordered
last year ruined our crop rotation cycle of
three seasons. The soil is barren now like
most of my population, with its hunger.
When I first designed the governmental
institutions, I knew deep down the possibility
of their failures. It was an experiment
but we had to try out the experiment. Would
you not have gone to the doctor if you had
for some experimental medicine?
The newspapers say that my policies are working wonders
across villages and cities. It was not until I escaped
from my entourage one day that I realized the yes men
I was surrounded by. There was drought and hunger
and some of the largest cities had crumbled with dwindling
infrastructure maintenance and air pollution.
When the Sun rose in the clear sky like these words
of mine. I knew precisely what the world was looking
The Sun God. A God they could truly look at through the
Smog-covered wind like these words echoing through
Following Elections on the Internet and not the Television
“Words, words, words.”
“Tell me a lie.”
“Build me a wall.”
Cycle through your deck as fast as you can so that the Arena is dominated by your gameplay.
Senjougahara has not laughed this year unlike the last.
When was the last time she did?
Banned movies like
Keep cycling through the neighborhood
Like banned substances.
“You are not allowed to say that anymore.”
The numbers suggest a close race
like a leopard racing a cheetah
through the mountain of spikes.
When you look back on the sun
shining through the white flag
do not hesitate to recall the final
crescendo that was planned
envisioned. Run towards the sun
like Icraus not caring for the fall
after all, the whole damn thing
is a fall as Ray told Elliot.
Which Elliot you may ask
‘TS’? See? You are already
in a fall.
 Ideal boy.
Debarun Sarkar was a student at Presidency University, Kolkata and English and Foreign Languages University, Hyderabad. Nowadays he divides his time between freelancing and writing.
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